I have a new best friend called Mouse! He doesn't realise he is, but I can see he clearly has my best interests at heart. Last night The Owner had his tea early which means by late evening he will be getting bored. By the time the sun went down he is flicking from channel to channel on the telly, clearly bored.
So on goes the DVD player, innocent enough you may think? Let me explain; when I moved here from Lord Bath's estate (had I mentioned that I was born and trained on his estate?) I had never seen the inside of a hoomun home and had no idea of the concept of a telly. It took me some time to get my head around where the chimpanzees were inside his telly that week, but I eventually got my head around that. It took a little longer to understand the washing machine and I had to have an opinion on that once or twice. Anyway, TV understood, he, The Owner, finds it funny to introduce me to the concept of surround sound. Well, the surround sound speaker stands behind my comfy cushion and I was out of there pretty damn quick when the chimpanzee that hitherto had been inside the TV was suddenly having a lot to say from behind me! Last night, Mouse had chewed through the wire to my surround sound speaker and The Owner was clearly disappointed when he turned it on and it didn't have the usual effect of the sound wave blowing all the hair on my back against the grain towards my nose. After much duct tape and swearing and the wire with a big lump in it like a worm with a knot in it's tail, the customary "Wump" of the big speakers was heard as they were turned on. Last night it was Shakespeare and I now understand why Small Boy has such an aversion to all things Shakespearean. If he loves the woman why can't he just say so? Instead we have two paragraphs of waffle that I barely understood and all at ear-splitting volume! The Owner is of course in raptures over it.
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.
It doesn't mention the effect on my ears this morning does it?
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