Staying at Owner's Daughter's

After a phone call, from Owners Daughter I gather, which seemed to require much frowning and nodding sagely from The Owner, he concluded the call with the comment “I will prepare an overnight bag for me and Jack”. Surely the right phrase should have been “For Jack and I” but I will let that one pass although I know which order we should be considered in. But I have clearly yet to educate The Owner over my importance and breeding! Now, I was excited and perturbed at this in equal measures. I have absolutely no idea what an overnight bag is or should K9’s (with breeding) have one, as I have never had one before that I am aware of. But also, that I was unsure what exactly it would lead to. I sat and watched as The Owner poured my water out of my dish down the sink and placed the same into a bag along with my food dish and a small plastic box full of my food that the terribly nice lady hoomun from Skinners had sent to me. Although I felt the accompanying comment of “If you want any water for now you will have to help yourself from the dirty pond. But then you’re used to that aren't you, ‘newt breath’?” was just a little insensitive. He proceeded to put a clean shirt and a pair of trousers that had, frankly, seen better days and I was hoping he was not going to wear them anywhere that he might be seen or recognised, into an “Overnight bag”. Although to be honest, as far as I could tell it was exactly the same as every other plastic carrier bag in the drawer which overflows every time it is opened, I have noticed. He poured himself a large glass of wine to “steady himself for the journey” and Owners Daughter arrived to collect him. She was already frowning very loudly before she arrived and unusually it was at neither The Owner nor me, Jack Labrador GD (failed)! She bundled The Owner into her car and propped him up by wedging his “overnight bag” in beside him and I leapt nimbly over the back and into the boot........ why does she insist on filling the boot of her car with canvas paintings? Well I guess that’ll be another job for The Owner and his duct tape later! We arrived at Owners Daughter’s new home and I immediately tidied up the bird table, the cat food dish and one or two other vaguely edible items I discovered on my first patrol of the perimeter. Although I did notice that I was kept well away from the hamsters cage! I also noticed that I could see no blanket for me to lay on! As early evening turned into late evening and the wine bottle became empty Owners Daughter took herself off to bed and threw some blankets in my general direction, I thought. “Ah, good! There’s my bed!” and I clambered on top of them all, which seemed to prompt a less than favourable response from The Owner as he kicked me off “His bed”! The Owner arranged the blankets and pillows on the floor and climbed into them, leaving me to sleep where exactly? That’ll be on the floor then I guess. I was not impressed! The Owner was soon snoring loudly and I was looking for somewhere a little softer to rest my chin and soon happened upon his hand sticking out from under his blanket, so I rested my chin in his hand. Ok, so I may have dribbled into his hand a bit in my sleep. But I could see no justification for his response and, frankly, hurtful comments about “K9 oral incontinence!” He was now awake again and taking the art of fidgeting to the level of an extreme sport again, until he had to give in and go for a wee. Whilst he was gone, I reasoned that he wasn't needing the bed he had made himself on the floor, so I climbed in. Well it seemed a shame to waste it whilst it was still warm! Not wishing to wake Owners Daughter by turning lights on and stuff, he fumbled his way back to his heap of blankets in the dark and climbed back in. It would seem that a K9 fur ball (with breeding and a wet nose) was not what he was expecting to find in his bed and woke the whole of Owners Daughter’s village up as he made it known. It was a long night......