I couldn't help myself this morning and for now
the proverbial doo doo hasn't hit the fan... but it will!
Today is wheelie bin day and assuming it hasn't been melted again by The Owner, it needs to be put out for collection. Whilst the rest of the village remembers to put theirs out the previous night, The Owner only remembers to do his when he leaves the cottage and notices a green forest of the things down the road. So today when it is time to leave we go through the routine; walk out door.... pat pockets.... go back in and get the keys he has forgotten. Leave door.... pat pockets again.... go back in and retrieve phone from the charger and realise he didn't actually turn on the charger last night. Leave door and close this time.... get half way down path...pat pockets... return to door.....fumble in pockets for keys..... go in and retrieve glasses. Don't mock, that's better than normal! We normally get as far as the studio before we realise the glasses are still at home! Returning to the door with glasses he pauses as if in thought and then turns back to get MY laptop, puts it in his case and closes the door again. When we get to the gate I like to have a quick sniff and wee up the gatepost if necessary because the scent is no longer announcing to the passing world that Jack Labrador GD (failed) lives there. So I checked and felt that as there had been no rain last night it could probably go until tonight when we get home again. Outside the gate The Owner realised that ours is the only cottage in the road with no green wheelie bin outside so puts his laptop case down by the post and returns one last time for the green wheelie bin. I was fed up with going back and forth so loitered around the gate and found a suitable bit of hedge to wee on whilst I waited. Whilst wandering absent mindedly past the gate I thought that maybe I may have a quick wee on the post for good measure whilst I had the opportunity. Well I forgot!! Alright? And there wasn't that much wee got on his laptop case! The Owner returned dragging an argumentative green wheelie bin behind him, which was in a particularly uncooperative frame of mind this morning and put it outside the gate. He reached back in and grabbed the laptop and swung it up on to his shoulder. All the way to the studio I was being given periodical glances of an accusing nature but not the onslaught I had anticipated. So far today he hasn't been to MY laptop in his case so hasn't really noticed............. Yet! It is now after lunch and he has a meeting, which is presumably why he has brought the laptop with him. I have left him to it and I am heading for the peace and quiet of the calf sheds. I am predicting an imminent explosion, of The Owner variety, when he picks up the case off his desk. One which I am not particularly anxious to witness!
Today is wheelie bin day and assuming it hasn't been melted again by The Owner, it needs to be put out for collection. Whilst the rest of the village remembers to put theirs out the previous night, The Owner only remembers to do his when he leaves the cottage and notices a green forest of the things down the road. So today when it is time to leave we go through the routine; walk out door.... pat pockets.... go back in and get the keys he has forgotten. Leave door.... pat pockets again.... go back in and retrieve phone from the charger and realise he didn't actually turn on the charger last night. Leave door and close this time.... get half way down path...pat pockets... return to door.....fumble in pockets for keys..... go in and retrieve glasses. Don't mock, that's better than normal! We normally get as far as the studio before we realise the glasses are still at home! Returning to the door with glasses he pauses as if in thought and then turns back to get MY laptop, puts it in his case and closes the door again. When we get to the gate I like to have a quick sniff and wee up the gatepost if necessary because the scent is no longer announcing to the passing world that Jack Labrador GD (failed) lives there. So I checked and felt that as there had been no rain last night it could probably go until tonight when we get home again. Outside the gate The Owner realised that ours is the only cottage in the road with no green wheelie bin outside so puts his laptop case down by the post and returns one last time for the green wheelie bin. I was fed up with going back and forth so loitered around the gate and found a suitable bit of hedge to wee on whilst I waited. Whilst wandering absent mindedly past the gate I thought that maybe I may have a quick wee on the post for good measure whilst I had the opportunity. Well I forgot!! Alright? And there wasn't that much wee got on his laptop case! The Owner returned dragging an argumentative green wheelie bin behind him, which was in a particularly uncooperative frame of mind this morning and put it outside the gate. He reached back in and grabbed the laptop and swung it up on to his shoulder. All the way to the studio I was being given periodical glances of an accusing nature but not the onslaught I had anticipated. So far today he hasn't been to MY laptop in his case so hasn't really noticed............. Yet! It is now after lunch and he has a meeting, which is presumably why he has brought the laptop with him. I have left him to it and I am heading for the peace and quiet of the calf sheds. I am predicting an imminent explosion, of The Owner variety, when he picks up the case off his desk. One which I am not particularly anxious to witness!
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