The New Lavender Bushes

Oh man was I in trouble on Sunday! After much rummaging in the lavender beds he came in stinking like those two old ladies in the village and announced we needed more lavender to make up for those that didn't make it through the winter. More!!!? So we got in the car and off to the garden centre we went. He bought several more lavender plants and an ice cream each.

I don't think he noticed the one I had already stolen from a small child who was just not quite careful enough. After devising some kind of torture chamber in the back of the car by surrounding me with lavender bushes we head for home except we got as far as the pub when he announced that we would stop for just the one! That was always bound to end in us having to leave the car behind and walk home! Sat out in the garden and who should come round the corner but Lady Chocolate Lab and her Owner. I was a little wary at first as the puncture marks from her last visit were only just beginning to heal over but we were soon bounding round the gardens in a frantic and lust fuelled game of chase again. Another brute of a dog arrived in the shape of a big black lab although his Owner didn't let him off his lead but I still felt the need to do a little scent marking just to be sure and rushed around pissing on things until my bladder was nearly empty. That was where it all went wrong! How was I to know that big purple thing in the middle of the lawn was Lady Chocolate Lab Owners hand bag? The Owner appeared quite vexed by the whole thing and rushed around with handfuls of tissue and smelly sprays trying to clear up my efforts. I went and stood on the bank out of the way and watched whilst the rest of the pub garden laughed. Lady Chocolate Lab came and joined me on the bank and I think I even saw her Owner laughing a little which only made The Owners temper blacker. When we got home I opted to find the spot behind the barbie in the woods. I think that was far enough out of the way!